blurbs – The Writers in Residence

Hello. My name is Jackie Houchin and I’m a book review addict.

Yes, I know. There are lots of blog posts and articles on Book Reviewing: How to Do It, How Not to Do It, How to Get Someone Else to Do It (for your book). Here’s my take.

But first a word on “blurbs.” They fall into this “reviewing” category too. You think they are easier to write because, well, hey, they’re only a sentence or two long, or occasionally an ecstatic 5-word blast that lands on the front cover with your name right there beneath the author’s! Granted, much smaller, but nevertheless, there.

But blurbs are not easier. As with book reviews, I read the entire book (not just the first and last chapters with a breeze-flip through the middle) and then I actually write a complete review from which I can extract that blurb. Upside is, I now have a review that I can peddle or post somewhere.

There are many blogs that would love to have your reviews for free and to give your name a boost. Also, you will be BFF with authors if you spread your love for their books around. (Result: A definite “feel good” if not lucrative, opportunity.)

Back to book reviewing. How about remuneration? Authors don’t like to pay you – and they probably shouldn’t because it might look like bribery or worse – but they do offer you a free book, ARC, or digital file.

Personally, I like hard copies because they are easier on my eyes, and I like to underline and write notes on the pages. I sometimes use the blank space after the chapter ends to write a brief synopsis.

With a digital file I have to print out the pages, using MY paper, MY ink, and MY electricity, which is costly even if I print gray scale (which is also hard on eyes), and use the backside of previously printed paper.

So, how DO you get paid for reviews?One way is to write for a magazine or online newsletter. I have written for Mystery Scene Magazine ($15 per review) and The Strand Magazine ($10), plus a few for Crimespree Magazine when I first started, which pays zero but you get clips.

If you are a prolific reader/writer and the paying magazines like your stuff, you can earn a fairly decent check every quarter…to cover your Starbucks habit. Okay, $60 or $75 doesn’t seem like much, but what have you invested? A couple days of (hopefully) enjoyable reading and some time at your computer. Plus the free book.

By the way, you should never sell ARCs on Amazon, etc. It’s nice to get that extra cash, but it’s not fair to the author, especially if you list them BEFORE the book is launched. No-no-no!

Naively, I used to take on four or five books to review in one issue! Now I’m lucky to manage two, and in most issues only one. True, Mystery Scene Magazine gives me books by well-known authors to review – Michael Connelly, Louise Penny, Susan Wittig Albert – but that adds to my stress level. But why, you may ask.

Well, for me, book reviewing is a perilous journey, fraught (like that word?) with doubts, delusions, and ulcers. For one thing, I am a self-doubting, paranoid perfectionist. For another, I have a very professional magazine editor. She examines my reviews for clarity, accuracy, and word counts (as she should), then lets me know – gently but firmly – where they need work. Eek!

So, consider my cycle of “Book Reviewing Agony” before accepting YOUR first book for review.

Request – “I know you like books by — do you want to review this one?” says my editor. Or sometimes, “Choose a book(s) you’d like from this list.” (I feel magnanimous and agree/choose.)
Arrival – I’m excited to get a first look at the ARC. I check page numbers, and divide the amount into the days she gave me to leisurely read the book, allowing 3 days for writing the review.
Reading – I love this part best, getting into a good story. I use a pencil as a book mark so I can make notes on the rough newsprint.
Winding down – My anxiety mounts as I anticipate finishing and having to actually WRITE a review. Often I slow down my reading here, although the climax is approaching.
The PC screen – I’m frozen (yes me, not the screen). That first sentence is murder! I write and rewrite it 50 times, then leave it and skip to the end (author style evaluation) which is easier. Finally disgusted I save the file and go to bed.
Reading my review – After a horrible night’s sleep I reluctantly read what I’ve written. OH NO! It’s horrible! I rewrite, massage, delete, cut & paste, edit out, add in. Oh, why did I ever agree to review books? After a day of misery I punch “SEND.”
JOY! – I’m done! Relief! Freedom! The euphoria of having completed it makes me dance around the house.
Editor email – Down the roller coaster of despondency I plunge. I have to look at this thing again? I pull out the ARC (which fortunately I haven’t tossed in my elation over the previous bullet point). I go over my notes and mini-synopses. I struggle to wrangle those words into submission and try to cut 75 words. At last it’s done (again) and I am exhausted. Weakly I hit “SEND” and make a solemn self-promise. “I will never accept another book to review.”
The 60-day wait – The magazine finally arrives. I grab it and flip immediately to the “Reviews” section, and look for my name. I read the review. I WROTE THAT? Seriously? Wow? It’s amazingly good! (Okay, she’s tweaked a couple words, but that’s okay because she made me look great!) I display the magazine prominently on the coffee table with a Post-a-note marking “my” page.
Another 60 day wait – The check arrives. I smile smugly, feeling cocky at having earned a couple “Star” bucks. Hey, this reviewing isn’t so bad. I could probably do another one….